Angelica Grace Designs Blog

Sunday, November 28, 2010

OUR LAST 4 NIGHTS AS A FAMILY OF 4

Kenidi has been exceptionally clingy in the past week - more so the past couple of nights. I'm convinced that she senses his arrival is very near. Brent commented last night on how she had fallen asleep with her arm around my big ol' pregnant belly and her face tucked snugly right into my chest. She was belly to belly with me and I couldn't bare to move for the longest time. I didn't want to alter her position. I've always said that she is my "cuddle bug" - sometimes we say "snuggle bug." She knows it too. Kenidi is definitely our affectionate child - to the extreme. She gives hugs and kisses throughout any given day as if she was getting paid for them. It melts my heart in ways I can't even begin to describe. Since being pregnant and growing this huge belly of mine, she will kiss my belly a 1000 times a day and say the babies name as she pats me there. (Yes, we chose a name that she can say easily) It is the cutest thing ever. Little does she know just how much her world is about to get rocked once this baby arrives.

I got all emotional the other day thinking about how hard Brennen took "her" arrival when we had her. He had been our universe for 4.5 straight years. When Kenidi came into this world, it rocked Brennen to the core and he went into a withdrawn spell for a couple of weeks following her birth. He eventually snapped out of it and fell in love with his little sister but it left me broken hearted initially. He didn't take her permanent placement in our family well at all in those first few days. We worry with Kenidi even more. Given her special needs issues, we can't talk with her about her feelings the way we did with Brennen. She will only see this new baby getting all the attention and become frustrated at the thought that she is lacking some of it now. I plan to work really hard on making her feel just as included and loved as ever. In my heart of hearts though, I know that there is no way to protect her little feelings completely. She is my baby girl. Always will be. Even though she is 7, she functions more like a three or four year old verbally. Therefore, Brent and I always have a hard time remembering that she really is seven years old. She still seems like our baby girl even with her growth and beautiful accomplishments as she ages. The picture above is one I took of her last Fall when we still lived in Indiana. It's amazing just how much she has changed in that short years time. It's proof that they grow so very quickly. This new baby will do the same. The time will fly by just as it has with Brennen and Kenidi.

My heart is aching for the effect this new little one will have on Kenidi but then again, I know God had a plan when it came to the creation of this baby. Baby Seaman #3 is coming for a reason. His entrance in our lives is something God feels we need and is purposeful. I trust the good Lord above completely and know without a shadow of a doubt that he'll help us conquer this new journey and the transition with Kenidi and her new baby brother just perfectly. I'm not naive to think that the first month or two isn't going to be tough. However, I'm convinced, like Brennen - she will love her baby brother with time and eventually not be able to imagine her life without him.

In the meantime, as we relish these last four nights together as a family of four, I intend to squeeze her tight and take advantage of the love she gives unconditionally. As I type, she is fresh out of the bath, smelling like a new baby herself with a hint of coconut scent to her. (her shampoo) She is huddled up next to me, on my right arm, yawning as she watches Edward and Bella in Twilight on our master bedroom TV for the 600th time. Kenidi enjoys repetition. She thrives off routines. Cuddling with her mama is part of her nightly routine and I will soak that up for as long as I possibly can. In a few short days, she'll be snuggled up next to me as I nurse her new baby brother. I'm looking forward to those new connections amongst the two of them as well as with Brennen and his baby brother to be. That boy is pinging off the walls with excitement. He cannot wait for this new little ones arrival. I'm eager to see their expressions the first time that Brennen and Kenidi meet him. Be still my beating heart...

Thank you God for this unexpected blessing we learned about 9 months ago. Thank you for the beautiful daughter you gave us 7.5 years ago. And thank you for the handsome son you gave us almost 12 years ago. I'm so proud that you chose me to be their mother. Thank you for your continued gifts in life Lord. You take such good care of us all. I know you are watching over this baby as he spends his last few nights in this tummy of mine. I know you will work your magic thru the hands of the doctors in the operating room come Thursday morning. I know you will protect our 2nd sons arrival and bring him into this world happy and healthy. I know that you will give me the calm, the peace, and the strength to endure this surgery and the recovery that comes along with it. Bottom line, I'm confident that you are here. Here with us. Here helping us prepare for the journey that we are about to embark upon. Chapter 3, 524 is about to begin and I can't possibly imagine how we'd write that chapter in our book without you Lord. We owe all of the glory and all of the thanks to you.

In your grip now more than ever, Angie

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9 Comments:

Blogger Maria said...

Such a beautiful post, Angie. Nothing better than snuggle bugs!
How are you doing with your to-do list? I say the more snuggles the better..all other to-do's can be put on hold. Wishing you all the best.
Maria

11/28/2010 11:03 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

Best wishes, Angie! Looking forward to seeing your little guy! Lots of prayers that all goes perfectly for you.

11/28/2010 11:11 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

Ahh, I cried reading this. You really got my emotions going tonight. I think it's because i was there almost 3 months ago...

In your situation, I think back to my 8 year old nephew (he has special needs as well) and when his baby brother was born. My sister in law is a special education teacher (which is helpful given their situation) and she always made it a point to make Sam (special needs nephew) as involved as possible with Sean's arrival. She let him pick out his 'coming home outfit'. They hung it up on their closet door and everyday Sam was able to look at it and see the visual reminder that he was going to be a big brother and that he was still mommy's baby too. :) Just a suggestion- maybe you could pick one thing that Kennedi likes and find a way to incorporate it with her baby brother. Maybe let her pick out a horse stuffed animal that way she could 'tell' him about her therapy horses? I'm not a professional by no means, but I think it did make the transition a little easier for my nephew :)

Prayers and love for you all <3

11/28/2010 11:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll be praying for you Thursday morning. I am so excited for you. What an awesome God we serve.
Emily

11/29/2010 8:40 AM  
Anonymous Jennifer Gill said...

Please post a quick picture when he's born for me :)

11/29/2010 9:34 AM  
Anonymous Sara C. said...

I absolutely cannot wait to see this beautiful baby boy.

11/29/2010 9:34 AM  
Anonymous Trae said...

Can't wait to see and hear about this new Seaman!! My computer at work wouldn't let me respond :-( tmq <><

11/29/2010 9:36 AM  
Blogger katy said...

What a sweet, sweet post! It is so hard on siblings of new little ones sometimes...but if we all went by that, we'd all only have one child. I was afraid that Blake, our fourth child who we had in Sept, would turn our house upside down...but Blake had really brought us together...and Andrew, our 14 yr old ADORES him,I thought he would turn and run haha! I totally understand you having even more reservation where Kennedi is concerned! Praying that all goes great...and that the transition is smooth for your family, especially the kids :-) God bless, girl!!!

11/29/2010 10:41 PM  
Anonymous shelley said...

I read this blog post tonight and have tears in my eyes after reading it.
You certainly have a gift of words (among many others!). It made me
nostalgic about the last few nights with my first while we were expecting our 2nd, wondering how things would change, but knowing that overall, the changes would all be good. I am praying great things for your family and this new little one. Just wanted you to know how your blog touches
others. I will be looking on facebook for updates, God bless you all!

Shelley Rahill

11/30/2010 10:19 PM  

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