Angelica Grace Designs Blog

Monday, November 16, 2009

4 DAYS, 4 MINUTES, 4.5 MILES

It looks like this here in Indy today (photo shown above). Only it isn't green outside anymore like it was in this earlier Spring photo. It's now rainy, cold, and brown. Dead. Bland. Gray. Depressing.

It is moments like this when I wish I could get in my car and drive '4.5 miles' down the street to the sounds of this:

and this...

I'd like to throw a beach bag in the car and drive '4 minutes' down the street to the feel of this:

and this...

On days like the one here in Indy today, I find myself lost in cravings for the sight of Floridian colors like these:

and this...

and this...

and this...

It is on days like today when I realize how close Christmas is. When I realize that we haven't spent a Christmas in Indiana for the past 3 years. It is always spent here, like this:

This year will be no different. Well...maybe a bit "different."

This past Friday, I had brunch with my sewing employee, Karen. I found myself not wanting the brunch to end. When it did, the tears flowed. I was emotional. On Saturday night, we had dinner with our dear friends. (Tamara and Joe) As we left, it was emotional for me. On Sunday, I rolled thru my hometown of CG. As I rolled out of there, it was very tough in many ways. One way in particular. I was again emotional. Sunday afternoon, we drove to my Dads and had dinner with him and Cathy. (my step-mom) The whole day was surreal. Difficult. Gut wrenching. And yes...you guessed it...I was emotional. Very emotional. We played a good, fun, round of family football in his front yard. It took everything I had to fight back the tears as we laughed together like we always do. It took the strength of a small army to hold in my emotions as I watched Brennen and Kenidi tackling their Papa Tony and Grandma Cathy while letting out shrills of laughter as they all plummeted to the ground. When I pulled out of my Dad's drive way, I was "uncontrollably" emotional. Reality suddenly hit me. After several months of planning, the truth was here - loud and clear. My knees buckled as I went to hug my Dad goodbye. Emotional was no longer the word.

Tonight...I will meet 9 of my best girlfriends in downtown Indy for dinner. Nine of the girls who know me best. Nine women who know my inner most secrets. Nine women who support me thru thick and thin. Nine women who not only did I graduate high school with, but whom I gave my heart and soul to a long time ago. I will have dinner with nine girls who are the epitome' of "good times." As one of my besties described the upcoming evening earlier today, she once again confirmed my reality and reminded me that she "was sure there would be tears." The window image with the rain on the outside of the glass at the top of this blog is a good example of the amount of tears I've cried in recent days. Good tears - happy tears - thankful for all of them tears - but very sad tears as well. It's a mixture of emotions. Scary yet exciting. Sad yet happy. Apprehensive yet eager.

Today is Monday. In four days, it will be Friday. After that, four days could easily be changed to '4 minutes or 4.5 miles.' Yes, Christmas will be just a tad bit "different" this year. And like the past few days, I'm sure I will once again be emotional. At times...overly emotional. In the end, life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for changes. (~Johann Wolfgang Van Goethe)

Half of me is ready and prepared. The other half of me is trembling with separation anxiety like a small infant would endure as she is separated from the womb she once knew. Her world. Her life. Her loves. Today is Monday. In 4 days it will be Friday...

In his grip, Angie

Labels: , , ,

14 Comments:

Blogger Molly said...

Oh Angie I wish I could give you a big fat hug! Have fun tonight and relish the moments you have left in Indy. This new chapter in your life is something God has had planned for a while, He knows best. I will continue to pray for your family this week. And please if you need anything remember what I said to you in my email on facebook :) Big hugs, love and prayers!
~Molly P

11/16/2009 2:06 PM  
Blogger Malisa said...

Very happy for you! I know most of the tears are happy tears. It is NEVER goobye, just see you in a bit!!

11/16/2009 2:44 PM  
Blogger Kristin said...

I wish you all the happiness in the world Angie!

11/16/2009 2:53 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Moving to a new place (especially a new State) is very emotional for many reasons...however it's a new journey filled with new awakenings and you are ready girl...you will do as you always do and ROCK IT! I don't know what prompted it but know you are on the path you were meant to travel...Relish in it!!
Praying and thinking of you and your family on your new journey!

11/16/2009 3:15 PM  
Blogger CIRCLE OF LIFE said...

AWE GIRL FRIEND IT WILL BE OK , YOU GO HAVE FUN , DON'T SAY GOODBYE CAUSE IT IS NOT GOOD BYE IT IS ANOTHER CHOSEN PATH THAT god has laied out for you to try , and he is in your conner. you will never lose the memories, freindships or the family there , they will stay and you will proceed with your adventure. it 's hard .. so you say fair well keep your head up high .. this is a fresh start for you all to begin the next chapter. your family and friends will visit you and call and blog and e-mail and chat /face book because of you the person you are weather you r there in indy or here in fla , that bond was already made like a mama seeing her young for the first time . it never leaves you never lose that image ..... You need to think fair well for now till we see each other again .... I am so glad to gain another freind whoi is into the same intrests such as family friends beach photography , I am glad God put you in my path , glad that I will be able to go to sanibel, naples and see a good friend blossom,

It is a whole new start a break away , break free moment , it will be different cause you will not have the tiem of your life and dread leaving this tiem you will continue to have the time of your life enjoy the breaze, kids laughter, playing phots of the beach , it is a new begining .. live laugh and creat new memories...... thinking of you girl ..love ya and so excited that finilly I CAN MEET YA AND TEH FAMILY .. EMMY WILL BE THRILLED TO HAVE A NEW GIRL FRIEND.... LOVE MICHELLE LEE

11/16/2009 3:36 PM  
Anonymous Mommy said...

Oh my Baby girl, That just wrecked me! I am just glad I am not one of the ones you are saying "Fairwells" to. I will be going through all these emotions in a few, with my friends and family also. I am so glad that I get to be the one who is traveling with you guys, because, It would destroy me if I couldn't. I know God has a plan than may not be evident at first, however, I am sure it will be something that will Glorify God in due time. I didn't really feel the pain that it may cause the ones left behind, until I read your Blog. It makes me sad for all involved, But happy times will prevail! XOXOXOX

11/16/2009 6:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Angie, Good luck girlie!! Can't wait to hear about all your new adventures!!!! And lots of pictures!!!

deb williams

11/16/2009 7:05 PM  
Blogger Jenna said...

I am so excited for you guy's! It will be hard being away from everyone, but you will also meet so many new friends (and birds, ha!) and I know you will all LOVE being near the beach daily and seeing the sunshine so bright everyday. Unlike Indiana and Ohio where I live :( I wish you all the best on your new journey :)

11/16/2009 7:14 PM  
Blogger Jamie said...

I am happy for you. I wish you and your family the best. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that the kids adjust well to school and that God just continues to bless you everyday. I was very happy to see that your mom is also going?? I think I'm correct on this..that is amazing and so wonderful. Friday will be here before you know it. Keep smiling Angie...and embrace the change..change is good. = ) I am jealous..lol...I will be stuck with this gloomy weather..but in a few years I will be on my way to Arizona...well hopefully. God is in control of that..not me. I wish you the best. I hope that you still keep in touch through your blog and facebook. Take care!!

11/16/2009 9:39 PM  
Anonymous christina Craven said...

I am so happy for you and yet sad for the family you are leaving behind...I found myself overly emoptional tonight as i read your blog, while my change is not in 4 days, but quickly approaching..i found myself thinking of all the things you talked about, and realting to every word!! While you and I have talked and our family life (around us) is very different, i can not imagine your "see ya laters" being easy, nor will mine.

But on another note i am so very thankful, that your relationship is headed in the way of love and repair, Life is never easy, nor are ANY relationships, but with God and Faith, you will be guided, and while the chnge is scary, i keep trying to tell myself how "good" it is going to be, for you too....

Big Hugs,
Thinking of you lots lately..
Christina
So Cal

11/16/2009 11:38 PM  
Anonymous Lori M. said...

I just wanted to come out of hiding to say that I wish you and your family nothing but sunshine and happiness in your new location. I'm guessing that this move has to do with sweet Kenedi and she is soooo worth it! Right? Much love to you all...
Lori

11/17/2009 5:33 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Wishing you loads of love and sunshine today! Leaving people you are so close to is hard! We moved 7 years ago and we didn't know anyone!!! We now see clearly why God moved us and are so thankful for the best friends we have formed!! I am praying for peace for you today:)

11/17/2009 7:25 AM  
Anonymous Susan Maurillo said...

my heart is with you in every way....be blessed and keep looking up!

11/17/2009 2:29 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

I have moved several times and I know your emotion. It must be hard leaving family that is really hard. My parents moved after I got married to New Mexico. My husbands parents live a few hrs away. My kids have never spent the night at their grandparents. I long to have family close by. Then friends become my family and then when we have had to move I feel like that piece is gone from my life. I know God uses you where he needs you but it is not always easy even when it is a blessing for your family as it has been for us each time.Did you sell your house, find a new one? That is a whole other stress in itself. May it go easy for you. I know you will make friends right away. There have been times where I have made friends and other times where I didn't right away. I can see where God was working on me during some of those lonely times. Take Care. Thinking of you!! <3

11/17/2009 5:48 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

AGD Blog Archives

Link to Us!

 

Copy code and paste in your blog where you would like button to be displayed.


Copyright © 2006-2008 Angelica Grace Designs | All Rights Reserved | Blog Design: Simply Creative | Graphics: PRESH Web Designs