Angelica Grace Designs Blog

Saturday, June 06, 2009


To be a kid again...

To run on the beach with not a care in the world.

Why aren't we ever taught to take advantage of those moments before being catapulted into adulthood?

To twirl and dance around in the sand, to dig holes until we can't dig any further - holes mind you - without recourse.

To bury ourselves and never have to worry about getting ourselves in too deep.

To taunt with your big brother and pester him until you can't laugh any harder and neither can he. (and neither can Mommy while trying to hold a camera steady.)

Why aren't we taught to cherish those innocent moments while we have them?

Before we know it...we turn 6, then 10, then 25, then 40, etc.? We all of a sudden look back and the photograph we view that takes us back to those moments in time is nothing but a distant memory. Like a yellowed and golden old picture that is decades old...

I'm asking myself that today as I view this photo below...

It is a photo of Kenidi taken this week at the beach but it completely resembles her age. Kenidi will turn 6 in about two weeks. At that age - age 6 - is when I hold most of the memories from my life. I'm unsure why I don't have many memories from the years prior to age 6 but I just don't. At age 7, I remember the turning point of my parents marriage ending, my first trip to the beach, my first sunburn which led to the people we stayed with in Florida breaking a true aloe leaf off an aloe plant and then rubbing it's raw and earthly contents on my reddened skin. I'll never forget that. I can't look at a bottle of aloe without remembering that moment. I also remember loosing a very expensive fishing pole which belonged to the gentleman where we stayed that week at the beach. I lost it to a fish much larger than me in the bay off the ocean. I like a 7 year old would, laid the pole down, turned my back for two seconds, and off went the really expensive pole with the really big fish. I'm sure that pole is all but a memory itself 27 years later. All of these memories seem to begin around age 6 or 7 years old for me. My life seemed to begin then not only in memories within my head but also within pictures. If I were home in Indy, I'd pull out an old photo of myself at this same age and pair it side by side with the one of Kenidi shown above. The orange clothes, the missing teeth, the hair, all resembles a photograph of myself at her exact age. And when I say resembles...I mean we look like twins. Same hair color, same skin tone, same smile, same everything.

For the first time ever, I'm able to see me in Kenidi. Me as a young girl anyhow. You know how people will tell you all the time that your kids look like you but you never can really see it yourself? Well I "SEE" it in this picture of Kenidi. I see me. I see a young girl whose memories are really just beginning. Whose life is starting to become written in a memory kind of form. And each second counts - every memory - Every laugh - every cry - every joy - every heart break. It is all beginning like right now! I emailed this picture to my parents yesterday and showed them the comparison. My Dad wrote back and confirmed with the words..."It's a little Angie! Love you, Dad" in his email to me. He is right. She is a little me. A little me with a life that is just beginning to flourish.

She will someday remember all of these trips to the beach with Mommy, Daddy, and bubbies. She will remember the evening sunsets and how her Mommy was beach obsessed and camera obsessed as she sat soaking it all in with her camera every night. She'll remember her daddy dancing on the beach with her. She'll no doubt also remember her individual dancing and twirling around in the sand until she was dizzy with delight. She'll remember all of the pestering she did to her big brother as he dug holes with his big, blue, shovel and how she deliberately dove into the holes - placing more sand back where he had just dug. She'll remember her big brother burying her legs and feet until she couldn't move then belly laughing like there was no tomorrow. One day, these photographs and her memories will truly be all she has left of her early years. Her history. Her history is in the making right now and I'm embracing it. I'm embracing every second of it as we approach her 6th birthday in 12 more days. At the moment, we have tentative plans for pizza and cake by the seaside on the evening of her big day. With as much as she loves the beach, I know she'd have it no other way. 9 days later, I'll celebrate my 34th birthday here. And like her, I'd have it no other way either. Pizza, cake, sunset, seaside...Nuff' said!

Another memory, more photographs, more history in the making...

xoxoxo, Angie

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Anonymous Debbie Zargarian (Brent's Mom) said...

It's all so beautiful....Kenidi, the photos, your memories, your words. Thanks for always sharing them all with us. LOVE you!!

6/06/2009 5:38 PM  
Blogger southerninspiration said...

Oh, my, such gorgeous photos!! and delightful children!


6/06/2009 7:17 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

"Her history"~~I just LOVE that! That is so true! Why do I never think of it that way? My history, but MY KIDS history, too. It's their childhood and they will look back on it and it will either be good, bad or wonderful. Mine was wonderful and this post is just a reminder that I need to do everything in my power to make theirs wonderful too.

6/06/2009 9:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Incredible post :) I can't wait to see Lauren at 6! I was so sad for a moment today thinking that she won't be able to fit into her little clothes at this time next summer...she'll be such a different kid...I'm really excited about all of these experiences to come, but it's hard not to be a little sad knowing she'll only be an infant for so long. Will you email me your address in Bonita?
Alison Rubel

6/06/2009 10:17 PM  
Blogger Molly said...

Oh my gees Angie you have brought out the memories of my childhood out today. Life is too short and too fast for us to relish and savor it. I still can't believe my lil sis turned 12 last Tuesday, she was just a lil baby yesterday :) Love your words and inspirations!!!!
~Molly P

6/07/2009 12:23 PM  
Blogger Missy said...

Awww. this is a great post, Angie! Before I even read your text, I saw that pic of Kenidi leaning on the rail over the private property sign and decided it was my fave ever!

She is getting so grown up. When I think back to my childhood memories it's bittersweet....bitter in the shock that it's gone! Sweet in the memories.

Great pics and wonderful thoughts!

P.S. We sooooo wish we were there with you!

Melissa Roark

6/07/2009 4:52 PM  

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