19 YEARS AGO TODAY

19 years ago today, my group of girlfriends and I from high school lost two of our dearest and most treasured friends. September 16th. It's a day I never forget. It was an early, rainy morning. Very gloomy and cloudy. One of those really dreary days. Following a slumber party at my girlfriend Di's home, Tracy Jones and Ann Grube hopped into a car driven by a 16 year old boy. Along with them were two other of our friends. As they left Diahann's home, the assumption is that the driver gunned the gas and lost control outside the neighborhood - hitting a tree and killing Ann instantly. Tracy was alive but left with internal bleeding and barely hanging on. The others were injured but not near as bad. Tracy and Ann happened to be in the backseat together as the car spun around and hit the tree with the back side of the vehicle. By the time Tracy made it to the hospital, she was already gone. Our awesome God above had better plans for her and Ann in heaven.

We were freshman in high school. We were just babies. All of us only 14 years old. We were forced to endure death and the cost of death at such an early stage in life. As a Mother today, I think of Ann and Tracy's parents often. The tree the car struck was right outside my old neighborhood that we just moved from. I passed the tree itself on a daily basis - literally about 20 times a day. Each time, my eyes never wavered. I always looked to the tree and could read the words on the two crosses that were nailed there.Tracy Jones.Ann Grube. Two lives cut way too short. Last year, my girlfriends and I got together and signed two cards. One for Ann's parents and one for Tracy's parents and mailed them to them. Luckily we were still able to locate their new addresses after all these years. We each signed the cards and left notes to their parents letting them know that none of us had ever forgotten Ann or Tracy. We let them know that we were thinking about them and praying for their families all these years later. Shortly after sending the cards to their parents, we received reply letters back from both of them. They were heartfelt and appreciative. They were broken but yet healing - yet today - from the tragic loss of their daughters all those years ago. Tracy's Mom wrote to us...

"She's been dead longer than she was ever even alive."

It was gut wrenching to read. As a parent myself, I felt like someone took a baseball bat to my stomach as I read her words. We grew up with these families. We slept over in their homes. We loved them just as we loved Ann and Tracy.

Today, I love them and admire them even more. I admire their strength, their courage, their ability to survive when they didn't want to go on. I am humbled by their lives today.

19 years. 19 long years.

Even though, it's been almost 2 decades since we lost them...I can still picture Tracy and Ann as they were back then. Ann and her natural platinum blond toe head hair with her stunning white teeth. Tracy and the gorgeous, slender, brunette that she was. I find myself wondering what they'd look like today. Would they have kids yet? What careers would they have had?

All I know is that I have so much to ask them when I God willing, see them in heaven again someday. As I look in the eyes of my own kids - age 9 and age 5 - I am sickened by the thought that they will someday be 14. They will one day soon, be the age that Tracy and Ann were when we lost them. They were just babies. Just innocent little girls who jumped in the back seat of a car against their parents discretion one early September morning. If only we could go back and re-do moments in time. However, that is never an option. God has bigger plans than we can even fathom. Our brains can't be wrapped around it all. He's always up to something. Something bigger than us. Larger than life. Something heavenly.

So today, I'm thinking of and praying once again for the Jones and the Grube families and all of the rest of you out there who've lost someone near and dear to your hearts. I'm praying for your peace of mind. Your will to keep on keeping on. Your strength. Your faithfulness in God. So hug those loved ones today. Life is so very short.

19 years today. Feels like just yesterday that we roamed those CG halls with you Ann and Tracy. As promised, you've never been forgotten. Never.will.be. We miss you in our group shots. We miss you period!

~~~Angie & those wild and crazy CG girls...your girlfriends.