Angelica Grace Designs Blog

Sunday, February 24, 2008

A SICK JOKE

(These humorous greeting cards can be found here in the JeanFrancisBean shop on Etsy)

It's 1am and I've just given Brennen more Robitussin cold and cough syrup due to the fact that he had been hacking and unable to sleep. He had a basketball game at 8:15am that he had to be rested for. Brent and I contemplated not letting him play because he was getting over bronchitis and didn't need the running and sweating up and down the court which normally leads to more hacking and coughing. However, his coach had called later in the evening last night to ensure that Brennen would be there for their tourney game. He let me know that they had another player out due to a sledding accident (Kim P., call or mail me and let me know if he is ok) and that if Brennen wasn't going to be there, that they'd have to think of a plan B. I went ahead and told the coach that he'd be there all while praying that he lasted in the whole game.

As I woke up to give Brennen that medicine at 1am, I myself, felt that I had a hot, sweaty, clammy feeling go on. I ignored it and focused on just getting Brennen back to sleep.

Now, fast forward to approximately 5:30am...

Iam laying in bed shaking, chilling, trembling and totally unable to get warm. As I lay there, I'm thinking..."This cannot be happening." Brent had come down with a temperature and the flu on Thursday. He was still so sick even now. I swore to him that I'd strangle him with my bare hands if he passed on to me what he had. After thirty minutes of laying there and battling the truth, I got up - went upstairs and found my pack of strawberry Halls cough drops that are so faithful to me when I get a sore throat, grabbed the bottle of motrin - took those for my fever - and then headed off to the restroom real quick before heading back to bed. Keep in mind, its only about 6:10am now - its pitch black in the house - and everyone else is still sleeping. Rather than use our master bath and risk waking everyone, I go out to our half bath in the hallway. I don't turn the light on which was a big mistake. However, I was still trying to be considerate of the two varmets that invade my bed on a normal basis and the adult man in there whom I call my husband and also who I am still plotting to strangle for passing this fever, sore throat, etc. on to me.

So...I go into the half bath - in the dark - go to sit down on the toilet....

And bammmmmm! That wonderful husband of mine who is responsible for my fever and such, had forgotten to put the lid back down and I totally fell in the toilet bowl - hands and all. When I say that I fell in, I truly mean that I fell in. Now...to Brent's credit, he normally NEVER leaves the lid up. He's always been a man that has been very considerate of the females that reside in his house too and very rarely struggles to remember to put the lid back down for us. However, on the worst night to possibly forget, he had done it. How do I know it was him and not Brennen you ask? Because Brennen struggles to "raise" the lid when he goes. Therefore, this culprit of this incident was a no brainer.

So....I pull myself up and literally out of the very cold and wet toilet bowl, all the while plotting the best way to go in and smother my wonderful husband in his sleep with my pillow at this point. I sat BACK DOWN on the actual lid only to have arctic shock waves go thru my body as the skin on my heiney touched the very cold-literally frozen lid. You know what I mean, right??? When you've got a fever and you go to sit on the toilet lid and its all cold - so shocking to your system because you are already chilling but your skin is on fire from the fever itself???

I ultimately survive though and quickly try to hurry back to bed.

I reach over - in the dark - and grab for the toilet paper on the wall only to feel this...
instead of this....
As far as I'm concerned, every other living human being that is breathing in my house right now is fixing to get the loudest wake up call of their lives. I quickly was taken back to a flashback of my cousin Trina and I years ago. We were all of 10 & 12 years old at that time and meaner than snot when we were together. We had left her mom-my favorite aunt-alone...at the campgrounds in an RV...without any toilet paper. At the time, we thought it was hysterical to leave her stranded in there by herself with no TP. The sounds of my aunt calling for us which started at gentle calls for help, then progressed to loud yells that eventually turned to a light hollar and finally to a schrilling scream by the time we finally took the TP to her is something I will never forget. It is a favorite family memory that even she laughs about now. However, at the time -we literally threw the TP to her from afar and ran for our lives once we finally gave in and took her some. I'm convinced at this moment that the good Lord above is bringing Karma back to me. He is allowing me to now pay my dues for that evil deed I did to my aunt all those years ago.

So, as you can imagine, I'm pleading for God to forgive me for that moment in life all while telling him that he knows what kind of three weeks I've had. I'm having this talk with God telling him that I can't believe he'd allow me to come down with this mess after the chaos that I've battled over the past 21 days. (the kids with strep throat, Kenidi with pneumonia, my fall that finally lead me to an xray machine this week because the swelling has never subsided, Brent's flu, Brennen's bronchitis, etc.) I'm speaking out loud at this point and conversing with God - telling him that I expect this to all just be a bad dream or a nightmare for that matter.

I pray to him one more time and say God...if there is a "God - a you".....I will turn around and feel the soft touch of kleenex's in the kleenex holder behind me." I tell him that I refuse to believe that he is going to make me get up and walk across this house to the next bathroom with no TP or Kleenex's - in the dark - half naked at this point. Keep in mind that our front door is all glass. The whole back of our house is also windows from floor ceiling. Therefore, its quite possible that I will give some neighbors a definite show that they do NOT want to see if I have to get up and walk by all these windows and the front door. Its still dark though you say. Well, keep in mind that I've spent multiple minutes on the toilet talking, praying, and yelling to God by now. Daylight is beginning to rear its ugly head.

Low and behold, I turn around and feel this...
THERE IS A GOD!
After a very stressful and achey jaunt to the restroom, I come back in and dug for a sweatshirt in my closet. Once again in the dark. I found my trusty old CG sweatshirt that is always so comforting to me. I throw it and a pair of sweats on over my pj's. I'm freezing. I go to quietly reset my alarm clock because it is getting ready to go off so that I can begin showering for Brennen's 8:15am game. In my sick mind, I am for some unknown reason thinking that I have time to lay back down for a bit. As my head hit the pillow and I got all situated in my nice warm down comforter, my brain chimed in and reminded me that I didn't have more time to sleep. I had to get up and get my shower right then if we were to make it to Brennen's game on time. I am totally convinced that this was all someone's idea of a very cruel and sick joke at this point.
In fact, I'm sure of it.
I'm going back to bed!
PS...Thanx for bearing with my bathroom humor today. You really are "behind the scenes with AGD" now, aren't ya? HA! This is my attempt at finding humor in all this right now.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Angie's Mom (Sue) said...

I am dying here! That is the funniest thing I've heard in a long time! Wait till' your Aunt Sharla read this - hee hee! I'm not laughing cause you are sick of course, my poor little beautiful baby, If you need your mommy let me know,xoxoxo mommy

2/24/2008 5:21 PM  
Anonymous Nina said...

Girl you are in my prayers! I just read about your bathroom incident....been there done that.... :)

hugs to you!

2/24/2008 6:21 PM  
Blogger PamperingBeki said...

Bahaha!!! Not many people can post about nasty bathroom stuff and have it be enjoyable reading but you pulled it off. :)

I'm sorry you're all sick.

I need that card! I've been super sick this week too. And believe it or not I nearly took a picture of the empty toilet paper roll someone in my family left for me, just to blog about it! Haha!!

2/24/2008 6:49 PM  
Anonymous Jenny said...

Hey Angie,

Hope you are feeling better. I was laughing 'with' you not at you as I was reading along! When it rains it pours. Todd is sick as well. He thought he had a sinus infection and kept telling himself that even after the fever started. If he even mentions being sick I confine him to our bedroom, but since he thoight it was just a sinus infection (with a fever!) he kept venturing out into the kitchen and living room and upstairs, basically the entire house! I told him if me or the kids get sick he is dead! I had to go to New Orleans last week for work and everyone there was sick too but I managed to avoid it. Now Todd is sick and I told him is just insisting on getting the rest of us sick. Hopefully with the combination of Airborne and extra vitamin C it will avoid the rest of us, although Brittney had a horrible non-stop cough last night at about 3:30am-4:30am. Once her meds kicked in she (and I) were able to finally sleep. I am so ready for Spring/Summer!!! Get well soon! Get lots of rest, or least as much as possible. Let me know if you need anything and I'd be happy to help out.

Blessings,
Jenny

2/24/2008 11:27 PM  
Anonymous Tiffany said...

Hey Angie, just wanted to let you know that I hope you feel better soon! Try to get lots of rest and stay out of dark bathroons! hehehe (FYI, you had me ROLLING on the floor laughing about that! hehehe, ... that is sooo me!!!)

2/25/2008 2:56 PM  
Anonymous Your favorite Aunt Sharla said...

Angie,
I'm sorry to hear that your household is a "sick bay". I know how hard it is being sick let alone having two young children depending on you.....o.k. I'll go ahead and say it....and a husband. Don't you know by now mother's are allowed to be sick it's written in the book of motherhood...somewhere.

I must say, I was practically on the floor laughing out loud as I was reading this e-mail. My how life is like a boomerang? It took more than a decade but as they say, what goes around comes around (ha ha) but, unlike you, I did not have the luxury of turning around and finding a nice box of kleenex behind me in the R.V not to mention the sound of both my daughter and my niece "taughting" me and taking advantage of such an OPPORTUNE time. I was really getting a visual of you falling into the cold water after feeling your way around in the dark to find the toilet while at the same time already having chills and how much you were swearing at Brent even if he didn't hear you. I bet an alarm goes off the next time the toilet seat is left UP!!.

I would suggest not letting Brennen or Kenidi know about the incident since you know how kids are they may decide to have a little fun of their own one day. I've told Trina to make sure she reads your e-mail and I assured her that she would get a "flashback" and start to chuckle...not at you but with you.

Well, I hope that whateve bug has bitten your household it now disappated for everyones sake. Gotta go for now. Hugs and Kisses to the kiddos.

LYFA

2/25/2008 7:38 PM  
Anonymous Krissie Broaddus said...

It soo sux that ya all were ill but dang girl this was one funny e-mail! By the way is Brent still "with"us? HA!

3/06/2008 7:37 AM  

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